Unsolved Enigma Called Love
by xJunex
Summary: Did I really have to fall in love with him to solve him? I was only curious and wanting to solve him. He thrilled me. Who knew it could hurt so much just to solve that enigma? Contains some OOC. FujixRyoma


**Title of Fanfiction****: **Unsolved Enigma called Love

**Author****: x**June**x**

**Summary****: **I wasn't interested in his love, only him. It wasn't like I needed him to love me back, no matter how hurt I get. Although there were some things I knew I could never forget. One, I loved him and wanted him so badly. Two, everything really does hurt when he doesn't care. Three, though I know he will leave me once I get hurt and turn me vulnerable, I'm still with him anyway. Hmm...maybe I do want his love after all.

**A/N****: **Well, this story came up to my mind when I was reading a sad yaoi manga about a guy who was being used as a toy to the person he loved. It made me somewhat sad, but gave me some inspiration to write this story. In here, I explain how blind love will make you feel strong and later weak. It's all written in Ryoma's perspective to make you wonder about Fuji's real thoughts. Hopefully, you will enjoy this. I'm not a college student or anything like that, so expect mistakes.

**Disclaimer****:** I do not own Prince of Tennis. Seriously, I don't.

**First Rose: Our Relationship**

Today was one of those days I had trouble breathing, like someone had literally pulled out my throat. It was always like this, especially around the fearsome yet beautiful and gentle Fuji Shusuke. His piercing blue eyes saw right through me, I was scared of him, yet at the same time, attracted. His soft brown hair around his delicate face was like an angel's appearance. He himself seemed much like an angel, if only he wasn't so sadistic. He knows I love him, he knows all this, and I'm pretty sure he's using this fact to get me to do something for him.

I walked past him during lunch, expecting him to give me a "hi" at least. We were going out, he and I know for sure, but he treated me as nothing but a mere stranger. Even if we are teammates, he never greets me. I felt so brokenhearted yet at the same time, interested. Interested in why he does all this. Was he being sadistic or was there something behind this?

Shusuke was a puzzle that I needed to solve. Besides tennis, family, friends, and Karupin, he's the only person that is in my mind. I stared at him one last time before I had to head out to class. If only I was as tall as him, as old as him, then maybe I could've made him love me. One thing I know and I'm positive is that he was playing around with me. It's because I love him that he knows it's okay. He never told me this, but his playful smiles and touches already implied all this. His gentle touch was never filled with any love, neither has his beautiful lips whenever they were pressed against mine.

"Ne Ryoma, are you free tonight?" He asked me. It was expected that I say yes. I was supposed to go to his house and "eat" with him.

"No." I answered back at him. I needed to get away from him at least once in a while. I needed to play tennis to beat him., maybe it's our unfinished game that has made me curious about him. Maybe my curiosity just made me think it was love.

"Oh fine then." He retorted back. Did I upset him? My chance of getting a "hi" was even lower now. Still, I didn't want to be controlled by him, especially if I knew he was going to let go of me soon. Should I just break up with him? That'd ease out any pain I have. Yet, something inside me, made me more engrossed in him, forgetting all hurt I had. He left me as I went back to class.

In that instant, as he left, a throbbing feeling ached in my chest. My heart was pounding so fast, it felt like it would leap out of me anytime. I collapsed to the floor. Damnit Shusuke, this time you did something. You made me feel so….hurt…vulnerable. Whatever you did, it hurt a lot more than before.

Tears couldn't stop from my face. I tried to reach for my tennis racket. I tried walking back up. There was nobody here. Everyone was in class or office. What do I do when he took away all my senses? I should've never been involved with someone like him. I had so much pride, and he had to ruin it all.

After several attempts of trying to walk, I finally did. Since class was already over by the time I was able to walk back up, I went to a nearby tennis court and hit some balls back and force against a wall. Club activity was about to start. I don't know how to face Shusuke. Maybe I should ignore what just happened? He didn't seem to care. His warm face showed no signs of real emotions. They only showed the playful smile I've seen since forever.

"Everyone, it's time for practice." The coach announced. I cautiously looked over to Shusuke's side. He seemed content, happy, and careless of my emotions. However, there was something different about his face. It seemed to hide something, an emotion that he cannot clearly express, but written all over his face. I didn't know what that emotion was. It seemed so familiar, yet so unknown.

"Do you want to play a match against me today?" he requested to me as he came near me. I threw a tennis ball at him, not knowing why. His expression had scared me. I agreed to the match, only because I wanted the feeling I had right now to go away. As we challenged each other to an intense game of tennis, I felt a feeling rush through me. Yes, this is the thrill only he has ever given me. That thrill that makes me want him more and more.

"Shusuke…I think I can come to your house again."

"That's good. I'm expecting to see you around 7."

Surprisingly, just talking to him and I feel such joy. He seemed to have lost that emotion that was apparent on his face before. It was replaced with playfulness, the usual face I've seen. As practice ended, he left. It was now 5. I had two hours before I had to go to Shusuke's house. I couldn't sort my own feelings properly...

It was now 7 and I arrived at Shusuke's place. This time, it was awkward, unlike the other times. It was like...he wasn't really expecting me here. His smile was so distant this time, eyes so gentle instead of piercing. His sapphire eyes looked at me, they wanted something, but what was that something?

If only I could understand him as much as he could see through me, then maybe everything would be less complicated. Yet, if he was less intricating, then I wouldn't have as much fun around him as I did now.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked me. This was a big surprise. Usually, he had already decided on what we were going to do. Of course, these activities were the ones that involved physical pleasure.

"I dunno. A tennis match?" I wanted to have another tennis match with him again. It was always fun whenever I played tennis with him.

"Huh? Actually I was thinking of something else..."

"What?"

"How about a question/answer game?" he asked. This was really awkward. I felt a new joy rush through me, different from whenever I felt thrilled whenever I had a strong opponent. He really wants to know about me. Maybe he could be falling in love with me?

"Ryoma...if I die...what will be the first thing you would do? Would you cry for me or live on with life without me?" his question was so...different from what he should be asking. His eyes were sparkling, tears look as if they were about to fall from his ocean orbs. Was he going to die? What do I say to comfort him?

"I promised to always comfort you whenever you needed me." I answered back. I didn't know what else to say back. I didn't know how to answer. Hell, I don't even know why he was asking me all this.

He embraced me gently, like I was a fragile doll. Why he did this? I had no clue. As he hugged me, I was dumbfounded. Everything felt so wrong. Something about him told me that today he was having problems.

"Shusuke...why don't we just have sex instead of this game?" I beseeched. This game was getting weird. He was getting so out of character. Something happened and he needed sexual pleasure to be happy...at least.

As we walked into his room, I swore I heard words that would never and should never be out of his mouth, words that both make me feel joy and sorrow. "I'm sorry for mistreating you, as a friend and lover." He carried me onto his bed, princess style. Something was up with him. He was being more mysterious than before.

Did I have to be this curious just to solve him? Do I really need to fall in love to truly want to know him? Why am I so hurt by nothing?

**ToBeContinued...**

**Preview of Chapter 2**

Like blank cards, my life was unwritten. I never had a purpose in life, until my beautiful Fuji Shusuke-senpai came into my life. I solved so many puzzles already, all of which were boring except tennis. Tennis was an addicting drug that made me want it more and more each day. Still, I never had such a thrill as I did with Fuji Shusuke. Unlike the other players, his ability was so hidden, ambiguous, making me want to unravel it all.

A year ago, I made a promise to myself to be with him forever and comfort him so my enigma won't disappear. I remember the time we started going out. I felt so overwhelming happy, joyful. Like nothing could make me sad that day.

end of preview...


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